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Going to Be Wiser


To be kind is not enough. In order to be useful you need to be wise too.


I really don't know why I repeated the previous mistake. I should not rely on my friends. It's really comforting to have a reliable one to confabulate, but it makes you awfully weak, specially when you are enduring somehow similar pains.

Every time I rely on a friend in my problems, I become very breakable and sensitive. Whenever I do this, I break down.

I should set up my relationship with my friends. I need to make my private space much wider. Nobody won't enter in. I should manage by own.
And I know that I can. All the time that I've been alone to resolve my problem, I've handled relatively well! I've found out that I always know the best solution better than the others. But I don't know why I do not count on myself sometimes.

In some situations, I stupidly try to put my own mind down. My mind warns me that my friend's concern and sympathetic and even their offers is not true, but I don't care at all. And then my problem goes to be worse and worse, and I become weaker and weaker!

Yes! I should manage my self on my own. I can manage my emotions wisely. I would let my heart get heavy, grieve or even cry, but I won't let it control me!
It isn't the first time I'm testing myself. Every time, I count on myself and do not speak about my problem to anyone, I think far more better and get off the hook very soon!

In some issues, I'm really the only one who can help myself.

A Bud


I was little free and wondering what I can do.

It was a good idea to update my blog!

The good point to say is that today I was really talkative in my morning class.
The lesson was about inventions and I knew enough about one of these inventions: World Wide Web!

During the class I spoke a piece about Internet usage, surfing the webs, social network services specially Facebook and Friendfeed, also about the cyber army and Iranian hackers. Further about how to find subtitles of the movies in order to help the movie freaks in the class!

I found myself much better than before in speaking. But I think I'm really weak in speaking yet and I need to speak more. I still forget some words whenever I start speaking.

Fortunately I have a good relationship with my classmates and they ask me their questions as the best classmate. After all I got the best score at the midterm exam! ;)

My Teacher showed her satisfaction of my writing these way: "It was very good. Very good"!
And I know that this blog really helps me to write in correct way and learning some new words and remembering the words I've used here easily.
.

The above passage was written on Monday. And yesterday, when I was chatting a friend in English, I made lots of mistakes! Somehow a disaster! :D
But actually I think It was not that bad at least for early chats.

I'm really eager to learn much faster than now. I wish I had a good partner to workout...

New Day


Guess what?!


I love the paragraphs starting with "Guess what?". It's full of energy. Isn't it?

Remember when I wrote I'm tired of doing nothing and how boring the life is and so on? It was almost a month ago. And now I don't have even time to do homework of my classes!

I think after years I finally got the job I'm really interested in. Of course I loved most of careers I've ever had, but this is an exception!

It's a job which deals with teenagers, beside the lovely and believer coworkers, lots of creativity and things to learn, with a strong cultural and educational base, and the most important part is a very skilled and experienced interior manager.

Thursday I had a difficult interview with the general manager and the interior manager who was the one recommended me to them. And yesterday I started my work.

My position is something like the expert of cultural and social affairs. It needs lots of thoughts, creativity, providence, study, search and far too energy and of course patience.

Oh! How anxious I am! What if I can't manage the tasks? What if the workspace would not be what I had thought? ...

Hey! Why am I not concerned about them not be pleased with my work? :D Good point, eh? At least I'm so confident about myself!

Anyhow for a while, I will work with the expert manager whom I'm really admiring. This is a great chance to learn many things from his experience and rich information, and to grow my moral and professional qualities.

Oh God! Help me, Please! Help me to adjust my classes, my works and my personal life and to do my best!

New Changes


There are some changes which are going to happen in my life.


Recently, I've decided to do things which fortunately God made me to find the best way to achieve them, ways that had never crossed my mind.

Of course that's what I see now, hopefully it will be all well upto end.

In Need of Change


I feel too tired of doing nothing special!

I'm so bored that I can't even prepare my dissertation.

I was thinking how much it would be excellent if I went abroad for a few months. I really need to change whole my environment.
I'm in need of visiting new people.

But it's clear that I can't…

Cracked

I'm wondering

when

I'll be

lively

and

cheery

again?

Next English Teacher


It's time to tell you about my second English teacher.


She was a Pakistani cute girl named Faezah and we were calling her Aunt; "Khale Faezeh". She was majoring in medicine and lived with her mother and brother. Her father had passed away long ago.
She was very kind and we really loved her.

We were living upstairs and to learn English we had to go downstairs to their house.
Sometimes she would get help from English-Urdu dictionary to tell us meaning of the words. Because Urdu shares some words with Persian.

We also loved her mother (we used to call her Madar) and her brother named Mr.Ziad. He got married when we were living there, while she was single yet.

Actually she was not just my English teacher, she was also my good friend. I have lots of memories with her. She taught me the musical notes. She had a spinet and she taught me a very short opus in order to help me to memorize the notes. That was it: do re mi, re mi fa, mi fa mi fa, sol sol, sol la si la.

I don't know where she is and what she is doing now. Sometimes I really miss them.

Spiritual Trip


It's an unbelievable incident… I'm going to Mecca.

Saturday my family and I are going to perform Umrah, Inshallah.

Since it's near Ramadan, our trip is 16 days; 6 days in Medina and 10 days in Mecca. So we'll be able to fast almost 4 days of Ramadan in Mecca.

I can't believe it! It's the best present ever from God… It's too big for me!
I hope I'll get the best out of this spiritual trip.

Elma


I was taught English since I was 9 years old.

My first English teacher was a Canadian woman named Elma. She was a nice woman with two children and a Pakistani husband we called him Mr.Muzaffar.

She had been converted to Muslim. They named their son Basit, and their daughter Noora.

I remember her blond pigtail-style hair and her especial delightful perfume. Also I remember that her house was always clean and full of light.

Although their children were little yet, they'd learnt to speak in 8 various foreign languages. Mr.Muzaffar and Elma each knew some foreign languages which they had taught them to children.

She was also teaching my brother, my father and slightly my mother besides me.

They used to live in our neighborhood and when after a year we moved from there, we had to change our teacher. (I'll tell you about my second English teacher later.)

Unfortunately I don't have any photo of them except the images I have in my mind.

Giving up the job


I'm going to quit one of my jobs.

There occurred a misunderstanding and when I tried to clarify it for my manager, he didn't answer to my calls nor did he reply my messages.

He blamed me and never tried to hear me, nor did he give me an opportunity to tell him what made me that sad and mad, was not distrusting him but for the broken promises!

I was angry by the accountant who was telling me all the time "It'll be done tomorrow", "It'll be done this weekend", "It'll be done next week" and it was like this 'tomorrow' would never come!

He finally did it after two months but the point is his regularly breaking promises and not doing based on what he told me himself.

If he told me it'll be done for example after five months, I would never call him anymore, nor would I get angry. But promising to do something in a period of time and not doing it, is really unbearable to me.

I consider the accountant's behavior and the manager not answering my calls and SMSs a big disrespect which have never happened to me before in my all other jobs. I think it was not an appropriate reaction to my honesty and attentive cooperation after these years.

I prefer to give up the job I really liked, in order to keep my dignity against anything that would violate it.

counting on myself


I asked my teacher about the problem I'd written.

She told me one of the solutions is "to watch movies a lot, at least for a year. It'll help you to find out the appropriate words". And I know it's hard finding some suitable movies.
I think it's effective to write more in English too. So I'm going to update my blog every week.
One of big Problems in blogging is to find a subject to write about. Therefore I think the best subject is my own life. I mean my experiences and my memories. And maybe I update it with the photos of my albums too!

And I remember one more thing...
When I changed my English class from Qum to Shiraz, I found my classmates very dull. They all were teenagers and school girls. Very soon I found myself the best student in the new class without any competitor; although I was almost top student in my previous class in Qum as well, but I had some serious competitors.
So I was never worry about my speaking in my new class. I was so relaxed and not anxious to find appropriate words. After the second session, I found myself fluent in speaking! Although I'd asked lots of questions and was active enough during the session, I didn't make any mistakes in speaking, nor finding proper word, and the most important thing was the matter of fluency.

Yeah! That's it! Whenever I was more careful in speaking, I do not do it as well as I've expected.
So I try to count on myself and speak as much as possible in the class.
(Of course I changed my class to adult classes to keep myself not getting too lazy!)

what would you recommend?


There is a big problem with my English. I'm not good to remember English vocab.
Although I'm good to understand English and the Farsi meaning of words, but I'm not that good to find the appropriate English word to replace the Farsi vocab.
I forget the English words very simply.
I think that's why I'm not that fluent and fast enough in speaking.

I really don't know how I can get better :(

Endless


When I look at my life, I always find myself having something to do. I mean there are always things to make me somehow busy to fulfill them.

And when one job is ended, the other is started right away…
It seems that I'll never have any time for myself to do things I want, or to go where I like...

moving in


Guess what?! 

I'm going to get rid of this dormitory. Can you believe it?

Yes! After three semesters, I'm going to leave Student dormitory. Though it was a very good experience, but I'm thankful for getting rid of this crowded place with small personal space, roommates with different culture and being far from city center.

I'm going to move into my friend's house, who was graduated in summer and got back to Shiraz. There's nobody living in their house now. So I'm going to move in soon.

Are you worried about me living alone? To tell you the truth, I'm not that alone! Two sisters of my friend are living upstairs. And of course I'm not afraid of loneliness, nor darkness, nor anything else similar; so remain calm!

The house is close to my English class, libraries, holly shrine, book stores, and almost anywhere I need to go. Then I think I can go hiking everyday and swimming twice a week.

Oh, I'm really happy and eager to move in.



P.s: And let me paste what my good friend has written to me when she read this post before publishing: "Wow Kosar! You're so smart, mashallah... You're becoming very good in a short time. Congrats :) Keep up learning." Glad to hear that.

shocked


Imagine someone suddenly shoves you and you fall into a deep point of a river. You start to move your hands and feet and struggle to breathe. Since you're so unfortunate, the river is wavy and you don't know well how to swim.


You feel you're going to drown and wish someone would be there and could rescue you.

After awhile you find a piece of wood that your friend holds it to save you from drowning. You catch it and get out of wild river.

You're shocked and as you swallow lots of water, you can't breathe very well. Your friend is waiting for you to say something, but you can't speak at all.

While you are bending and straightening and trying to breathe, your friend is expectantly looking at you.
After that, you sit on a rock, rest your hands on your knees, gaze on the ground in front of your feet and review what happened. Then breathing deeply, you watch wistful face of your friend, smile and say: "Finished already"!